What Next????

whooo.... calm after the storm, or is that before?? however the saying goes... whooooo.... deep breath out... Training was like this amazing high... followed by the low... Monday, I was just irritated and tired... part of me wanted that crazy high to continue, the other half of me said, fuck girl, sit down... take a break.... what now, where do I go from here, can I start, when can I start, what comes next..... ugh......so to smoothe out the creases I resorted to my favorite therapy....retail therapy.... hit the mall with the monkeys... shopped... ate, relaxed, well as much as you can in a mall... on a cold ass day, on a day everyone is off work and school.... ok, the mall was packed, it wasn't all the fab... but the monkeys had fun... and I found a pair of originally priced $270.00 Marc Jacob shoes on final clearance for 20 bucks... I love them.... they are almost as cute as my pirate boots I got a couple weeks ago...

Struggled with Gym theatrics, can I teach, when do I teach, should I teach??? and finally some answers... The YMCA had me come in for the early morning crowd- 5:45 am which just seems sooo early to work out, too early... but as I pulled into the packed parking lot, I realized I was in the minority... that place is a busy busy place early morn... I hopped in front of a full house class... the serious folk... dead faces, serious workout people... hard to read, my eager cheerleader enthusiasm really didn't sway anyone one way or the other... but that is cool, it is really fuckin early.... I kept with it, reguardless... I am one of those people, who pushes themselves like crazy, I like being on the edge of falling into bits in a loud shattering crash... I like running so fast that I have to stop and barf along the side of the road... odd, I know but I do... I love the adreniline rush... I get goosebumps when the song starts to build, when it is pushing you to the power moves, I want the class to ride that ride with me... and if only a couple get on and scream along side me, then good... more will come along..... at the end the gym director came up and was very happy with my performance, so I was happy... tough crowd, they are all used to a certain tempo, I live in skattered chaos land... they will be
suckered/pushed/forced to enter my kingdom... one way or the other...


mmmmm other questions... I, yes me, have been seeing someone... for like 4 months now... is it love??? I don't really think so.... it is over the top fireworks, amazing sex, and hardcore porn a lympics- nope not like that either (he wishes I am sure....) but it is something.... I think I am still numb from all the boys I have loved before, cuz I just can't get into this... I just can't.... I don't even know what to do, at this point should we be exclusive? is it something that needs to be asked, or does on just fall into it... mmmm.... I just don't know... we don't seem to be merging each other into one another's lives... I wonder if we are just undercover about it all... and if that is so, does it have any hope for the future... he is nice, he is incredibly normal... tooo normal....he does mellow me out, he does sorta ground me... I do like him... but yeah I don't know...

Ohh Jetty wants you to know he likes the snow... in fact like it putting it mildly, he slept in it till it melted into a nasty muddy mess....

and why ask why about the popcorn shoe pic! doesn't everyone like the crunch of the kernals beneath thier feet??? noooo???? ooops my bad... just me....