Round tables rock the casbah...

I get up every morning and start it pretty much the same way... but today my lil brain was pounding... woke with a mad crazy headache, realizing this was due to a total caffiene withdrawl, as I was broke and didn't buy any soda's yesturday, soooooo my mind was a hurting, I can feel it melting away as I sip my glorious cup of coffee.... coffee sweet coffee, how I love you soo.... coffee, yogurt and some raisin walnut oatmeal, my breakfast of choice..A girlfriend of mine marvels at the my lil pathetic date life, she ponders outloud, how nice it must be to have so many potential boy toys, but I am still most unhappy.... I don't want lots of potential boy toys, I want just one, just one perfect one... one to cuddle with on the couch, that on commercial break will flip me over and pound the shit out of me, and a couple hours later have great dramatic debates over nothing.... the dating game is all cute and games, but I don't think I like it... it strokes the ego but doesn't heal the heart... a very good friend once said, I have to give new people the chance to "amaze me" but amazing is oddly the word that describes said friend the best... and how does one trump that. Everyone else has failed to even captivate my attention for even a couple of days... and at the end of every day, I still kinda deep breath it, and cuddle with myself on the couch to watch my favorite crap shows... and look at the empty space next to me, and say, awwww that kinda sucks...so fitness instructor life is hard core..... so much to learn so much to do, and who knew there was instructor drama at every curve... One gym, has been so supportive, and helpful, and has made effort to keep me motivated and focused... the other, well the other one, had me crying in a bathroom stall wondering why I even bothered to try.... I am finding myself in this whole venture, it is hard, very very hard to get up in front of people, the girl who flunked every public speaking class I ever attempted in college is having mad internal struggles with the whole thing, but I think if I retain my sense of goofy self, then I am ok.... I taught a class to a packed house last friday, which oddly and painfully included 4 other instructors, intimidation just rocked my core, but I pulled out my inner American Gladiator, and it went well, so well in fact when I was done with my set, the gym director exclaimed in front of everyone that she was soooo proud of me, and my confidence slowly yet triumphantly returned.. and yesturday, as I threatned the class with breakdancing and busted out with the "classic superstar pose" (SNL- Molly Shannon for those of you who are like, what the hell??) at the end of lunges, I thought for a second, that I might actually get or be good at this..... and sooo...... another day begins.... thank you coffee, the headache has melting away... caffiene is my friend....



ohhh yeah, it is my again in my classic myspace cliche shots... why I love these I will never know.... and yes i know I block a bit... but only cuz stalkers are just sooo not fun, to get rid of, paperwork is a bitch...